Get My Life Back!

Less is more happiness

2011-03-22T20:07:00.000-07:00

Identify Your Challenges and Strengths

2011-03-02T15:38:00.001-08:00

In order to take care of others we must first take care of ourselves. The analogy used here to give a clear picture is the flight attendant giving safety instructions before a flight. They demonstrate how we must put on our oxygen mask before we help a child or elderly person put their mask on should an emergency occur. If you think this is callous, consider that you may fail to help another if you can't breathe. To avoid burnout or compassion fatigue you must first take care of yourself. That may be a hard concept to those that are used to being "other-directed" instead of being "self-directed". As a caregiver you may rarely think of yourself at all. Now is the time to do so. We are better able to overcome obstacles when we make a plan that includes taking into consideration our challenges as well as strengths.

What are your challenges?
Do you have a lack of:

                  knowledge?
                  time?
                  support?
                  patience?
                  willpower or spirit?
                  coping skills?

How will you meet them?

Once we identify our challenges we will be able to find the tools needed to meet them. The process of learning about Compassion Fatigue helps us find out what is causing our burnout and sapping our energies. We then are able to look at what our strengths are now as well as the strengths that lie ahead with further education.

What are your strengths?

                 Knowledge?
                 patience?
                 self-awareness?
                 self-respect?
                 coping skills?

Unfortunately the colleges of today rarely teach anything about the emotions they will experience or coping skills needed to students that will be professional caregivers. If we are lucky we may get the opportunity to "debrief" with a counselor from time to time if we have dealt with serious trauma but there is nothing out there as yet that helps caregivers deal with the day to day grind of their work. Identifying our challenges and strengths encourages us to start from where we are. This is the first step in creating a self-care plan for the caregiver to avoid Compassion Fatigue.

Join our Facebook page: "Get My Life Back" for daily updates and events on Compassion Fatigue here.

Compassion Fatigue and You

2011-02-10T11:13:00.000-08:00

Compassion Fatigue and You

The above link will take you to Get My Life Back's BlogTalk Radio show about Compassion Fatigue and You.

The Get My Life Back Radio Show will air live every Thursday morning at 5:30 am. The show may also be listened to at any time on demand HERE: Get My Life Back

Compassion Fatigue is often referred to as "Burnout" and is characteristically described as physical, emotional, and spiritual exhaustion that a person experiences that causes a decrease in his or her ability to enjoy their life and/or career. It is often experienced by health care workers as well as those taking care of a loved one at home. The caregiver begins to believe that the situation is hopeless and that it will be endless.

Symptoms of Compassion Fatigue:

*Lack of a vision for the future

*Reduced ability to feel sympathy and empathy

*Anger and irritability

*Dread of working with certain clients/patients

*Diminished sense of enjoyment of career

*Excessive blaming

*Mentally and physically tired/exhaustion

*Difficulty concentrating/ preoccupied

*Inability of teams to work together

*Desire among staff members to break company rules

*Strong reluctance towards change

*Inability of staff to respect and meet deadlines

*Outbreaks of aggressive behavior among staff

*Negativism towards management

*Inability of staff to believe improvement is possible

All of these are signs of Compassion Fatigue or burnout.

Most often the caregiver in the health care setting is bombarded with such things as:

*Patient Rights

*HIPPA Confidentiality Laws

*Watch Dog Agency Benchmark Expectations

*Institutional Policies Enforcement

*Patient Complaint Feedback

*Infection Control Issues

*Medical Records and Charting Issues

*Institutional Reimbursement Issues

Essentially institutions have to show that they followed up with employees on anything that is below the expectations of the public as well as their administration. There are such numerous expectations that the caregiver feels beaten down and a pat on the back for a job well done is rare.

The time and energy of administration MUST be spent looking at the "numbers" and actively managing them. It is more realistic for caregivers to get encouragement and support from their co-workers in their immediate area. By focusing on holistically taking care of their own health as well as supporting coworkers in their immediate area health care employees can maintain a balanced life and career and experience less Compassion Fatigue or even avoid it altogether.

Caregivers in the home setting are surrounded by the expectations of the patient as well as others in the immediate environment or situation such as family members. The shock of caring for someone at home often creates a dysfunctional venue for codependent personalities as well as controlling ones. The advent of chronic illness or death brings out numerous emotions that are rarely dealt with in a healthy way because of the lack of time. Everyone is determined to focus on the patient and some may even believe it selfish should one speak up and say they need help. This always has the potential to be a somewhat volatile situation. The solution is for the caregivers and loved ones to treat themselves holistically and maintain the balance of mind, body, and spirit to remain healthy. There must be a reasonable plan for care for the patient by all involved as well as a plan for each person to step away to re-energize and take care of themselves.

Get My Life Back will show you how to balance your mind, body, and spirit. Common programs or resources often try to do this as a whole and don't consider the individual. We want to recognize that each person obtains holistic health in their own way. To combat Compassion Fatigue each caregiver must find what works for them and what makes them healthy and resilient. There is no "canned" fix for burnout.

Miri Chandler is available for Holistic Life Coaching and Counseling by email subscription for $25/month (unlimited emails) at : coaching@getmylifeback.org

You may use the same email for questions about our service.

--Namaste, Miri

Coping With Death and Dying

2011-02-09T11:40:00.000-08:00

When death stares us in the face it is always a shock. We build our lives to believe that we will live forever and that death will come later-when we are ready. We all like to believe that we will grow old and die in our sleep just shortly after the passing of our spouse and it will be peaceful. No one ever wants to think about losing a child or dying before that golden age. Sometimes we know its coming. Sometimes it comes when you least expect it. In any case, losing someone you love is never easy for anyone. In the case of terminal illness death may be a relief but there is still a grief that lasts. Many of us have regrets. We said something horrible that last time we saw them. We didn't pay attention to what was happening. We didn't protect them enough or give them the advice that we should have given them. We didn't say "I love you" enough or at all. These regrets along with the actual loss of a loved one may bring a depression in us that lasts for an extended period of time. How do you get over the loss of a loved one?

There are different stages of grief and how each person experiences them is different.

1) DENIAL AND ISOLATION: We cannot believe that this is happening. Death seems unreal especially if it is a young person. We isolate ourselves from the rest of the world because they couldn't possibly understand our loss and the way everyone else just goes on about their lives is irritating. Life is not the same.

2) ANGER: Dear God, How could you take him? He was so young, so full of life. He had a family that loved him and he was a good man. Why would you do that to him? to us? What have we ever done to deserve this? Those Doctors should have known. They should have seen it and prevented his dying!

3) BARGAINING: I'll do anything to bring her back. I just want to see her and hold her. Take me instead. If I do everything right in my life then you won't take anyone else I love right?

4)DEPRESSION: I just want to pull the covers up over my head. I don't want to go out with friends. It's all I can do just to go to work. I feel numb. I don't feel anything, not sadness, not joy, nothing.

5) ACCEPTANCE: OK. I have to go on. He would want that. He wouldn't want me sitting here feeling sad. I want to do something that will show him how much I loved him. I don't want people to forget.

Everyone goes through the stages of grief. It is a time period that has to be decided by the one grieving. There is no "normal" amount of time to experience it.

The death of someone you love stays with you. You don't "get over it". You do get to decide how it stays with you though. You can choose to focus on the pain of the loss or you can choose to embrace the fact that their Spirit NEVER leaves you. Instead of mourning their absence, accept their presence. Remember their joys and see them there. When you are at the ball game, in a garden in the summer, hiking a mountain, or just having a meal together, remember what gave them joy and celebrate that. Travel to the places that they loved. Do some of the things that you used to enjoy together. Make a plan to do good things in their name. When you accomplish these things it brings them back to you if only for a moment. You can just see them smile.

Jordyn Shellhart: An Authentic Young Artist

2011-02-07T21:00:00.000-08:00

Jordyn Shellhart is a bright young artist that is as authentic as they come. She spent her 16th birthday on stage with Little Jimmy Dickens at the Grand Ole Opry and yet she remains a grounded young lady that isn't a diva. Jordyn is an up and coming artist in Nashville with a voice that touches your soul. She doesn't wear designer dresses or flashy outfits. She shows up in her jeans and simply plays from the heart. Nashville needs a breath of fresh country air such as this girl. The city is full of young women that want to be in her shoes and yet lack her natural talent and honest demeanor. Jordyn has a maturity that makes her comfortable enough in her own skin to sit down and write her own material. She recorded her CD, "In A Room" in a room at her manager's office. They wanted to show that music can be simple and still be good. If your heart longs for music that talks about the heartache we all experience and tells the story of overcoming it, this is the CD for you. It is available on iTunes/JordynShellhart .Jordyn Shellhart doesn't have all the smoke and mirrors tricks that other artists spend money on. She doesn't need them.
--Miri Chandler

Take a Breath

2011-02-04T13:03:00.000-08:00

Take a breath. Slow and easy. Picture inhaling a white cloud of positive into your body and exhale black smoke of the negative. Repeat this 10 times in a quiet place with your eyes closed. Take a moment at work or at home. Do this when things are getting too crazy or just to enjoy the moment. Picture a white light at the top of your head that pours sunlight down on you gently. White cloud of nourishment in through your nostrils. Black smoke of the negative leaving your body to be replaced by soft white clouds. Feel the warm sun gently on your shoulders. Enjoy the moment. This wonderful moment. That's why they call it the PRESENT.

--Namaste, Miri

Caring For Your Spirit is an Everyday Job

2011-02-03T19:37:00.000-08:00

Caring for your spirit is an everyday job. Taking the time to care for your essence is not a waste of time nor is it unrealistic. If you don’t have enough time to pray, meditate, or fill your spiritual cup then you need to examine what is in your life that is not in balance. That is what it is all about, balance. Your mind, body, and Spirit all need to be of equal proportion to each other. If you neglect one for another your life becomes intolerable and painful. Think about it. If you don’t take the time to feed your Spirit, to stay in tune with the Divine, then how can you expect that Spirit to hold you up and be strong in times of trial? That’s like asking legs that you haven’t walked on in weeks to run a marathon. To love and care for your Spirit each day shows reverence for such a precious gift. If you feed it and take care of it your Spirit will not fail you.

Finding Purpose

2011-02-03T19:27:00.000-08:00

Each year as my birthday rolls around I contemplate where I am on my path and where I think I need to be. Trying to focus on what is right and what I want to change and transition to is always on my mind but at this time of year it stares me in the face. What do I want my life to be?

Every year I am determined to make life more simple. I seem to need less as I grow older which is in direct confrontation with my husband's thinking. He would like to have more. He's not obsessive or unrealistic but he's the materialistic one in our family. He doesn't voice anything about spiritualism in any way. This could complicate life if I let it. I try not to let it. Somehow we always make it work.What do I want my life to be?

Every year I want to be less practical and take chances a little more. That's ironic since most people are the opposite. Most people become set in their ways as they grow older. I find that in some things but I don't mind trying something new even if it's a bit uncomfortable. I am not a daredevil by any means. When I try something new I do it quietly and most of the time no one even knows. I keep thinking I am missing something that will change my life, make my spirit soar and allow everything to fall into place. Maybe it's a dream but I go along with it anyway. When I find it you will be the first to know.

Every year I look less at the past and the future. I find both are a waste of time. My ego tries to get me to look at the pain of the past so that it knows it's still alive. The future has too many variables to even consider and I seem to care less about what will happen in the future. It's not that I don't plan. It's just that I don't seem to wring my hands and worry like I used to. Somewhere along the line I realized that worrying didn't make the future better and I now trust that my Spirit can handle anything that comes along.

Every year the same things seem to be on my wish list for my life. I want a simple life with just some basics:
I just need a roof over my head. Any roof will do.
Hot water, tea and a few basic vegan foods to eat.
A computer provides me with everything I need to read and write as well as friends.
My reliable Kettler elliptical to walk when the weather is poor.
Time to meditate and feed my Spirit.
Simple clothing that doesn't take up too much space.
Friends that inspire me and lift me up.
A family to love and nurture.
SPIRIT

If my life touches just one other in this coming year and makes their life better I will be at peace.--Namaste Miri

Daya Devi-Doolin: An Inspirational Woman

2011-02-03T16:00:00.000-08:00

Daya Doolin and I met on a writing website. We began reading each others work and soon became friends. We became part of a book project called "Americans Saving Ourselves Together" and although I was not able to complete the project, Daya and the other authors were kind enough to include the work I had completed. From the book:

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” ~Margaret Mead

This book is a collaborative project born from the desire to help our fellow citizens. We know that times have been tough for many and we have decided to use the power of the written word to help uplift spirits and provide encouragement. Offering new ideas, ways of thinking and perspectives, we are letting those going through difficult situations know that there are people who understand, care and are here to help.

This book empowers and encourages the reader to regain inner strength and take action. Covering a wide variety of topics including family, prosperity, self-cultivation, health, parenting, joy and humor. There is something here to help everyone during every stage of life. Taking matters into our own hands has taken on a new meaning: responsibility. When we accept responsibility for our lives and our circumstances, dramatic results are achieved! Although this book was written for Americans, we strongly emphasize that we are not solely American citizens, but global citizens.

We are part of one family: the human race. When we lift ourselves higher, we have the ability to spread benevolence to those in need throughout the entire planet. Individually, we each have the power and ability to change our lives. Together, we have the power to change the world.

~Michelle Starkey

Here is the story of Daya and her husband as told by her:

"Chris and I met while playing music on the streets of Philadelphia, PA. Chris came from a musical background of piano study and guitar performance in the folk/rock vein. I had learned to accompany myself on acoustic guitar while singing my original songs on the streets.
Back in Philadelphia, you could catch us day and night at 16th & Chestnut, or on South street, playing to large crowds with the five-piece acoustic funk band "Street Players". When this group dissolved, we continued together, were married, and the folk/country/inspirational duo, "Abraham's Seed" was born. For years, we performed in the Northeast, at colleges, coffeehouses, concerts, on radio and TV. We produced our first EP album, "Sides of Love" featuring the popular requested song, "Momma", which was acknowledged in Billboard Magazine.
In 1986, we moved to Florida, and soon, "Abraham's Seed" sprouted into Level Seven.
In 1985, we were introduced to an additional world for focusing and increasing our spiritual awareness. A Course in Miracles Study Group called to us and we answered. We eventually became ACIM facilitators for several groups of committed students. It opened us up to the great healing powers of the universe. We wrote our first joint book on the language of dreams and their meaning, called Hidden Manna. We sold it via mail-order after taking an ad out with Whole Life Times Magazine.
Through an illness Daya had in 1986 she was told she would have to have surgery. Through prayers, she was led to discover and experience spiritual, natural healing without surgery. Her complete healing led her to study & receive training and certification in the first level of Usui Reiki Natural Healing. One year later, she received training in the 2nd Degree Level of Reiki and another year later, on to receive Certification, Attunement and Training in the 3rd Degree, Master Teacher Level. Chris has received training and certification in Reiki Levels I and II. We have both received Training and experience in Rebirthing and Loving Relationship Training based on the method of Internationally known Author and Rebirther, Sondra Ray.
Chris and I were eventually told through Spirit we would be opening a natural healing center. We call it The Doolin Healing Sanctuary. There we offer a variety of alternative holistic methods of training, healing, classes and workshops which lead to healing and spiritual growth. We offer free introductions to Reiki, Yoga, Power of Thought and Rebirthing. We offer sessions in Yoga, group Rebirthing, individual Rebirthing, Reiki healing, Reiki I, II, & III attunements, Intuitive Counseling and Prosperity Workshops
In 1988, I was lifted up in consciousness and shown I would be writing a book. Spirit's Voice said, "It will be called Vita-Minds." "What are Vita-Minds?," I asked? "Super energized thought forms," was the reply. Later, I was told the title would be Super Vita-Minds. The sub-title would be "How To Stop Saying I Hate You...To Yourself." I started the actual writing in 1989. I designed the cover, designed the back cover, listing 12 chapters and the topic of each chapter, not even knowing how each topic would be filled.
Then I went to chapter one and started filling in the information Spirit would have me write. I channeled much of the book. At one point after I had a friend edit it for me and negative energy was injected into the situation. I was discouraged by the comments made about the title and the information in it. I declared it was too hard to complete and put it away until 1997 when it was seriously impressed upon me it must be completed this year. I jumped right in with no hesitation this time. All negativity had been swept away for me and I began receiving the information with new fervor.
I designed the cover anew, the back cover was changed and everything was pretty much "effortless". When I had questions about how it was going to be funded, I was told it was taken care of, "Not to worry!" And so it was. Every question I would have, "Not to worry!" was the reply. And so it was. My book was completed and published by August 1998. It was into the public's hands and flying out of our local headquarters of Padaran Publications by early September. It's now in the four corners of the United States and around the world. Every week another portal is opened for Super Vita-Minds to flow into.
We have continued with our music and are releasing a new CD of our songs, meant to inspire and delight, entitled Level Seven. We also perform with the magical musical productions of Steve Reel and SkyEarth. Locally in Central Florida, you can see us perform with the variety world cover band, The Reels.
Chris and I have a son Joseph Paul Doolin who is 11 yrs old and I have an older son, Tyler R. Mitchell through a former marriage. We have two beautiful dogs, an eclectic Welch Corqui named Prissy Princess and Pookie, who is a black and white paw Labrador mix. Our latest addition is a Sealpoint Siamese named Dune."
(This was taken from the About Us page at Padaran Publications)

Daya is a Yoga Instructor, author, and spiritual healer as well as a loving mother and wife. She has written many articles as well as books and continues on her path with more to come in music as well as word. Just knowing Daya has brought a peace and calm to my life as never before. Her words always bring me hope and inspiration. Her kindness is overflowing and her spirit is unlike any other. She works tirelessly to help others.
Her faith in the Divine is as if she has always known the way. It never falters. Should you take the time to know her if only by her words, your Spirit will know her instantly and you will know peace. --Namaste, Miri

Daya's Website is:
Padaran Publications

You can listen to her weekly BlogTalkRadio show or listen to the archives here:

The Only Way Out Is In

Being Busy Does Not Make You Important

2011-01-28T10:09:00.001-08:00

Being busy does not make you important. Society makes us believe that if we are busy we must be valuable. Busy is an excuse to escape silence. For if we hear the silence we might realize how shallow our lives really are. We might have to face that fact that we will die and we are not prepared. Are you prepared to die? What makes you think that you have more time?
If we are productive then we have an excuse not to deal with things. You can procrastinate and put off all of those things that you don’t want to do.
We are allowed to be late if we are busy, besides it makes our entrance more dramatic. Being late even to a friend’s house shows the people you are meeting that your projects are more valuable than they are. Projects are more valuable than people? Really?
We choose to be busy. It won’t fill our spiritual cup, it won’t make us happy, and it won’t make our lives better. How busy you are NEVER makes you more important it is more likely an act of fear.
Caring for your SPIRIT is an everyday job that deserves your time and attention.

Gain Attention By Being the Kind Soul

2011-01-28T10:08:00.001-08:00

Gain attention by being the kind soul. Give up trying to gain everyone’s sympathy by telling them your problems over and over again. Being a kind person draws those positive people to us as well as an abundant life. This isn’t to say that we should shout from the highest mountain that we did something good.For as long as we think that this life is about our own ego and ambitions we will be miserable. A quiet life lived to serve the good of the world in our own way will gradually bring us the peace that we seek. We will find that as we progress in this kind of life that there isn’t a need to feed ego so much. The attention you get will be those that want to work beside you and seek the same peace. Serenity without chaos is the goal.

Positive Attracts Positive

2011-01-28T10:07:00.001-08:00

Positive attracts positive. Light has more power than darkness. Good has more energy than evil. Your feelings will most likely predict your reaction and the outcome of any given situation. Positive expectations bring you joy no matter what happens. Acting out of compassion for others instead of your own selfish ambitions will always give you that warm feeling and you will see the abundance it brings in even the simplest of things. Accentuate the positive and let go of the negative even when you think its ridiculous. Learn to change your thinking and choose to be happy. Its easy. Those habits of negativity can float away if you try even the least bit. Some of us would rather wallow in our own frustrations and want sympathy from our loved ones. There are better ways to get attention. Gain attention by being the kind soul.

How We Choose to React

2011-01-23T15:05:00.001-08:00

What happens in our lives isn’t as important as how we choose to react to it. If we come from a place of ego we often react with anger and frustration. We get caught up in appearances as well as social expectations. We play into the thinking that what we see is what we get and it matters. We compare the inside of ourselves to the outside of someone else and think that we see them clearly. When we choose to come from a place of SPIRIT we react with kindness and compassion. We take the time to see others as they truly are. Instead of comparing ourselves to others we realize that we are all part of ONE entity. This instantly dispels any negativity. Which do you choose? The purpose of our lives is to help others and treat every other human being with compassion. Putting others first instead of feeding our egos lifts our SPIRIT as well as makes life pleasant for everyone. Positive attracts positive.

No One Ever Knows for Sure

2011-01-23T15:04:00.001-08:00

No one ever knows for sure what will happen in our lives. We work so hard as humans to gain control of our world. Recognize that we as humans aren’t in control of anything. It is important to get in touch with the SPIRIT and make decisions by the spirit within. Remember these points:
1)There is no wrong way to find the SPIRIT within.
2)Learning to listen to our SPIRIT takes focus and the gift of time.
3)Shut out the everyday world and take the time to feed your SPIRIT.
4)Prayer and meditation are important to practice every day.
5)We each choose how to honor our SPIRIT.

What happens in our lives isn’t as important as how we choose to react to it.

If I Had a Year to Live

2011-01-23T15:03:00.001-08:00

If I had a year to live what would matter? Would I care about the issues at work? Would I care that I wasn’t thin enough or that my house isn’t clean enough? Would I take the time to do all those things that I always wanted to do? If I had a year to live would I hold my family close and not worry so much about the silly things? Would I tell my coworkers how much their hard work has meant to me? Would I spend time with friends that are less than loyal and truthful? If I had a year to live would I be grateful for a year or sad that I didn’t have a lifetime? Would I spend that year getting in touch with my spirit within in order to prepare to die and to live my life with reverence?
How does anyone know that they have more than a year to live? No one ever knows for sure.

How Simple Life Can Be

2011-01-23T15:02:00.001-08:00

There are those events in life that make us sit back and realize how simple life can be. Illness of our own or a loved one many times jolts us away from the unimportant things. The things that really matter in life are those that deal more with the heart and spirit than with the everyday workday world that we infuse our lives with. The signs of our physical decline bring us closer to our spirit as we are reminded of our impermanence and the flow of life itself. We are but visitors here on this planet and we should not take it for granted or believe that it lasts forever. When we recognize this the petty things that frustrated us seem to slip away and a new outlook shows us that the simple things are good.
We should ask ourselves:” If I had a year to live what would matter?”

let's talk about mental illness: Teens and Depression

2011-01-23T15:00:00.000-08:00

let's talk about mental illness: Teens and Depression: "As many writers do, I often am inspired to write about real-life experiences in the hopes of educating others. The following story is based ..."

See How Happy You Are?

2011-01-23T14:56:00.001-08:00

See how happy you are? In the everyday struggle of challenges and frustrations do you see how good life really is? The roof over your head and the food on your table make you comfortable. Despite rough spots your family has endured the best they can. Our blessings in this world are sometimes overlooked. They sit quietly while our challenges take center stage. We forget how good we have it. We have lost people and things that were important to us. They slipped away by various circumstances and yet we have a good life and we are loved. We each have others that support us in some way. We take up our time worrying about the hardships to come when we could be saying a silent prayer of thanks for what we have. It may not be much. You may not think it’s enough. Here in the present moment it is enough. The future will find its own way with faith in your spirit. For now, embrace this moment and all that you have in your life. It’s amazing how simple life can be.

Make Better Decisions in Your Life

2011-01-23T14:55:00.001-08:00

How do you make better decisions? Here is a list of things to ask yourself every day in every situation.
Make a copy and keep it in your pocket to refer to.
Is it kind?
Did you think the list would tell you the secret formula for success? It does.
Did you believe that whatever was on the list was relevant in any situation? It is.
Do you believe that life is really that simple. It’s true.
If you make your life decisions based on the question, “Is it kind?” and act only when kindness is the result, you will never have to worry about making another bad decision again. You may not want to hear that. You may immediately worry about being hurt by others. People will walk all over you right? Wrong.
Positive attracts positive. Kindness attracts others that are kind and deals with those that aren’t in the best way possible by stopping anger dead in its tracks. Think about it. If you meet someone’s anger and frustration with kindness the anger stops there. Immediately. No other defense works as well. Make every life decision this way and see how happy you are.

You Can't Fix the Past

2011-01-23T14:54:00.001-08:00

You can’t fix the past. There are things that you did and said that you regret. None of us can go back and change the past no matter how many times we run those scenarios through our mind. That’s exactly what we all tend to do. We go over and over those moments from the past that we would want to live differently. In doing so we torture ourselves again and again. The best things we can do are to let the past go and live in the present. Make your apologies. Clean up what you can. Leave the rest behind. Stop torturing yourself and others. Bring your mind back to the present the moment you find it wandering. Living in the present moment with as little preoccupations as possible is the responsible and kind way to live. By living in the present moment and not the past, you are able to make better decisions in your life.

Clear the Clutter of Your Ego

2011-01-23T14:53:00.001-08:00

When you clear the clutter of your ego that doesn’t mean you have to become invisible. Clearing clutter is just that. Make a “house cleaning” list and take a good look at what causes you stress needlessly. See where you have allowed your ego to get carried away. Are you expecting a 45yr old body to look like a 21yr old and paying a fortune just to look in the mirror and still see 45? How realistic are your expectations? You can dream and do whatever you want to do but be realistic in the fact that we all age and we are all going to die. We have a limited amount of time here on earth and wasting it on trying to turn back the clock causes needless pain. Taking care of yourself is different than obsession. While you are clearing clutter take a look at your surroundings. Simplify your life and take away some stress by getting rid of some things. Clean a closet and take out the things you haven’t used in the last year. By the same token make a point not to revisit the past in your mind. You can’t fix the past.

Is your Ego Responsible for Pain?

2011-01-23T14:52:00.001-08:00

Is your ego responsible for pain? Our society has invented standards by which we live by. Some of those standards are based on moral issues and some are not based on anything but our minds. How much of the stress you have now is based on accumulating things to satisfy your ego? How much of your pain is invented by expectations? Are you angry because you don’t have the money for the latest fashion or gadget? Are you frustrated because you work an honest job at an hourly wage but you want status and a luxury life? Did you cry when you came home from work today because you were embarrassed by another coworker? Not all of us can lead a simple life of renunciation. We can let go of some of our pain by changing our expectations and our perceptions of ourselves. Determine what you can really live without. Get rid of pain when you clear the clutter of your ego.

Change Your Life

2011-01-23T14:50:00.001-08:00

Change your life if you are unhappy. Change it if you aren’t satisfied. If you are suffering take a stand and do something to make this life better. You have a choice. No one else can make you suffer or feel bad about your life. Decide today what action you will take to be happy. If you can’t change the situation then you can change your mind. Change your expectations if they are unrealistic or your reactions if they are extreme. Change the way you react to events in your life. You don’t have to react in anger or frustration.What can you do about the things that are out of control? Remember the things that truly matter to you and stop worrying about the small stuff. Take a look at your life and the things you want to change. Are they needless worries or things that need action? Is your ego responsible for pain?

You Can Always Climb

2011-01-23T14:49:00.001-08:00

You can always climb. No matter the situation you are in you can climb out of it if you want. Don’t be discouraged. Find a way. Believe that there is something better for you. There is. Take a chance. Jump outside the box. Take a piece of paper and draw a circle in the middle of it. That’s your current situation. Now draw five lines coming out from it like the sun. At the end of each line draw a circle. In each one of the five circles, write an idea for action. It doesn’t have to be big. Just brainstorm. What would it take to change things? What can you do to make life better? Each action has to be something YOU can do. This exercise does not include wishing or relying on someone else. On the outside of each of the five circles write the tools you need for that action. Now climb. No one is stopping you. You can overcome emotional and physical hurdles. Just believe that you can. That’s half the battle. Change your life.

You Are Only Human

2011-01-23T14:48:00.001-08:00

You are only human. You are not a superhero or a magician. You have a right to sleep, to express your opinion in a kind way, to have your own life and passions, and to spend time feeding your spirit. You are not required to fix other people’s problems or clean up their messes. Giving doesn’t mean you do everything for another or that you exhaust yourself. You do not need to say yes to every request of your time or energy. Take time for your own goals and aspirations. Don’t be afraid to work hard for them even if others are doubtful. As far as your dreams go, the sky is the limit but remember you are only human. You can do anything but some things make take a little longer when you climb higher. You can always climb.

In Giving to Others You Will Find Yourself

2011-01-23T14:47:00.000-08:00

In giving to others you will find yourself. Giving to others doesn’t have to be in a big way. Offer to help your coworkers or neighbors with small things during the day or when you come home from work. Although it is nice to do, giving doesn’t always mean volunteering to head a church project or involve spending time at the local mission. You can do things to help others in quiet ways. Giving your own family your time and attention is one of the best ways to give to others. You can make time for your own specials projects and yet spend quality time and help your own spouse or children. Helping others in any capacity allows you to recognize your own needs. You may need more interaction with others or more quiet time and less chaos. You may need to ask others for help with tasks around the house so that you have time for an important project. You may realize that you need to plan better financially for when you are elderly. When you give your time it allows you to see how valuable it is. Start giving to others if you don’t now and begin to see what wise insight it will bring you. Giving will also help you see that you are only human.

Give to Others in Your Own Way

2011-01-23T14:45:00.001-08:00

Give to others in your own way. You may be the clown of the group that makes everyone laugh or the nurse that always pitches in for a poor guy”s cab ride home. You might be the Mother that never gives up on a child no matter what or the Father that always makes sure your child has a decent car to drive no matter how old they are. Are you the one that encourages everyone to look on the bright side of things at work and stop focusing just on tragedies? Maybe you are the person that volunteers their time and never brags about it or the kind soul that sees that his neighbor is taken care of. No matter who you are you can give to others in your own way. You are able to ease the burden of other people and you aren’t bound by social expectations or traditions. In giving to others you will find yourself.

Spend Your Time Doing Things That Really Matter to You

2011-01-23T14:44:00.001-08:00

Sometimes you just have to change your perception of things. Make a point to look at the positives instead of the negatives. Don’t take up valuable time doing things just because everyone else is doing it. Instead of pleasing others do the things that renew your energy. Take a walk on the beach, spend time with friends, ski the mountain, or pamper yourself. Renew your spirit. Making some minor changes in your life may help you spend your time doing the things that really matter to you and be happy. Doing things for others is rewarding but you must make good choices. If the things you do for them are not renewing you and giving you a good feeling then it’s time for a change. Give to others in your own way.

You Are Tougher Than You Think

2011-01-23T14:43:00.001-08:00

Sometimes you just want to curl up in bed and pull the covers up over your head. You are tired of being stressed out. You are tired of worrying about money and life in general. You would rather shut the world away than deal with it. You may think that you can’t solve one more problem. You are tougher than you think.
Touch your toes to the floor and splash some water on your face. Sit down with a cup of coffee and write down all the things that seem out of control in your life or the things that you would like to change. Do NOT include things that other people think you SHOULD do. We are talking about things that matter to your heart and spirit not social expectations of others. Cross out the ones that are petty worries. Some things don’t need to be changed. You just have to let go of them. Now make a list of the things you want to change or have to deal with on the left side of a clean piece of paper. On the right side opposite each item write down what action it will take to change it. Remember, you are tougher than you think. You can do anything. Spend your time doing things that really matter to you.

Great Expectations

2011-01-23T14:41:00.001-08:00

Have great expectations! Instead of expecting the worst or believing that you will fail, think again. Believe in yourself and others. Write down all the good things about you. You are kind. You are bold. You are beautiful and unique yet a part of one great world. You have a sense of humor and the ability to bounce back. Taking on an attitude of great expectations draws positive things to you. You will see more opportunities come your way. Your belief that you can do anything will push you to do more and be successful. No one ever had a great life by sitting on the couch and feeling sorry for themselves. Connect with that person inside of you that knows what you are capable of. The sky is the limit. Maybe you don’t believe that now. Maybe you are skeptical. Train your brain to think otherwise. Even if you aren’t confident, act like you are. Take a chance and jump into something that you have to work hard to achieve then set your goals and live it. You are tougher than you think.

Take Action

2011-01-23T14:36:00.000-08:00

Procrastination is common. We are afraid to do anything impulsive and therefore plan to plan. We put off the things that matter because we don’t want our dreams to fail. How long should dreams wait? How old should you be before you put the wheels in motion to live a happy life and do what you want? When does practical overcome passion? Why do we sit there and do nothing and expect our life to run on cruise control?
Don’t let fear paralyze you. If something doesn’t work then try again until you get it right. Be bold enough to keep going and trudge the path to your dreams until you walk on air. Do something today. Anything. It doesn’t have to take too much time and it doesn’t have to be a big deal. Take action and build your dreams. Make them grand. Build them high and wide or take a tiny step but do it. This life matters now. In this moment, the present moment, is your chance to shine, to be happy. Have great expectations.

Amazing Things Will Happen

2011-01-23T14:34:00.003-08:00

Amazing things will happen for you in this life. Your dreams and aspirations will come true if you believe in them and in yourself. As long as you believe that things will go wrong in your life, they will. Everyone has the potential to turn their life around and be the person they truly want to be. Everyone. There are no exceptions. Amazing things will happen for you if you let them. Give up negativity and sorrow. Let the petty anger go and live boldly instead. Assume that amazing things will happen. That’s right. ASSUME. Don’t just ask God for a favor or to get you out of a jam. Don’t just accept bad karma and not do anything about it. Don’t wallow in your guilt. Believe in yourself. Smile more often. Adopt an affirmation that you say every day such as, “the spirit within me is greater than this”. Replace negative thoughts with the thought, “love prevails”. Taking care of your own thought patterns takes care of others too. With a positive attitude you will find yourself helping others more often. You will give more to those in need. Amazing things will happen when you decide to be positively happy. Don’t just exist. Take action.

Love Prevails

2011-01-23T14:34:00.001-08:00

If you want love to prevail in your life you must change your perceptions. For some this may not be easy. We all seek love and happiness in our lives but we are comfortable being the victim. The victim is powerless to do anything. You don’t have to be accountable or responsible when you remain the victim. If anything goes wrong in your life or if you don’t have love it’s because you are a victim. It’s someone’s fault other than your own. You can blame anyone but you. Victims are hurt easily and often get their own way with many things because no one wants to be the one that hurts them. Enter: Love.” Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” 1Corinthians13 1-13 Bible.
When you change your perceptions of being a victim, of hatred, negativity, and sorrow you choose love. Each time you intercept a negative thought with “love prevails” it changes the world. Your world. Every person has love inside them and it will grow for as long as you feed it. Start replacing your angry reactions with kind words or at the very least silence and the anger stops there. Imagine what a difference that would make in your life alone not to mention others’ lives. What if you started every conversation at work with an idea for action to create something good instead of how bad things are at work? Love prevails at home too. Do something kind for your mate or your children. Go the extra mile with no need for thanks or attention. It doesn’t matter if they have been kind or considerate to you. Love them anyway. Keep at it. Dare to love openly and honestly. Amazing things will happen when love prevails.

Make Better Life Choices

2011-01-23T14:32:00.001-08:00

Most of us struggle with how to make better life choices. No matter what you do it is hard to be able to prepare for those unknown variables in the future. How do we make better life choices? Actually there is no big list of rules or long lines of advice to make better life choices. All you have to do is keep things simple and authentic. That doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the luxuries of your life or the newest gadget. Making better life choices is not about deprivation or seclusion. Better choices are made up of one simple thing. Compassion. Each and every one of us is capable of making better life choices if and when we think less of ourselves and more about the rest of the universe. Uni means “One” and verse means “together”. We are ONE together. We are not separate or special as we may like to believe. We are all part of one entity and there is nothing that makes one of us better or separate from another. When we start thinking that way and treat others as we would want to be treated, with compassion, we automatically make better life choices. Our finances come into balance, the chaos stops, and love prevails.

Drop the Film Roll in Your Head

2011-01-23T14:31:00.001-08:00

Your mind is running constantly thinking ahead of the future and back to the past. You can’t turn it off when it’s time to sleep because it’s out of control. You revisit the past to run through those awful scenarios that you wish had happened differently. You can’t help yourself. It happens over and over again. How do you stop the film roll in your head? There are a variety of methods to accomplish this task. One of the most practical is to catch yourself immediately as your thoughts turn to something else other than the present moment. It takes patience and time but there is no wrong way to do it. Simply bring yourself back to the present moment. You train your mind by doing this over and over each time your mind strays away. Another method is to focus on your own breathing. Take note of your breath and as you go about your daily activities instead of letting your mind play the film roll, focus on your breath. For some this is a simple method and for others it takes more effort. You may choose your own way to bring your mind back to the present moment. You have the choice to explore what works for you. Being in the present moment doesn’t mean that you can’t learn from the past but instead helps you review your actions and thoughts at the time they are relevant and then go on without torturing yourself with your mind. You may also plan for the future and yet stay in the present moment by keeping your mind focused and not cluttered by needless thoughts that may cloud judgment. By dropping the film roll in your head you have less chaos in your life and are able to make better life choices now.

Live in the Present Moment

2011-01-23T14:30:00.000-08:00

It’s very tempting to have big plans this time of year. So many people make resolutions to improve their lives. Those are good intentions and it is good to be aware of how you are living your life. The bad part about resolutions is that sometimes we think too big and set ourselves up for failure. That’s not to say that dreams should be put aside or marked as unattainable. Setting goals and making plans for achieving them is a positive thing to do. When we start planning to plan is when it’s time to sit back and regroup. Some of us get to the point that we plan our every behavior. That is when we become less than authentic and the stress of keeping that kind of persona upright is exhausting not to mention unrealistic. Living in the present moment still allows us to be the true being that we are and yet prepares us for life. If you live mindfully in the present moment you won’t set yourself up for failure with high expectations. By living with a simple rule of kindness in every action and thought in the present moment you won’t have to spend your time regretting the past or endlessly planning for the future. Drop the film roll.

Indoor Gardening with Catalogs | GardenGates: Gardening, Design & Garden Landscaping by Jane Schwartz Gates

2010-11-11T12:16:00.000-08:00

Indoor Gardening with Catalogs | GardenGates: Gardening, Design & Garden Landscaping by Jane Schwartz Gates

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2010-11-11T08:42:00.000-08:00